


if these eyes are windows

by Doranwen



Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: Gen, Missing Scene, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, kidnapping recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-23
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-09-26 12:45:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9897206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doranwen/pseuds/Doranwen
Summary: Post 6x13.  Maura has been kidnapped before, but not like this.  Jane knows it will take time to heal.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this over a year ago and never posted it, hoping I'd find a canon beta to double-check characterization. Stumbled across it the other day and decided it was about time I posted it anyway, so people can at least read, even if it's not betaed.
> 
> Title taken from the song Star Gazer by Mysteria: https://www.musixmatch.com/lyrics/Mysteria/Star-Gazer  
> Gorgeous song, and I think the words fit Jane and Maura well.

Jane's heart wrenched as she walked past the officer standing guard and into the hospital room. Maura sat on the edge of the bed, motionless, hands clasped in her lap. Her face was framed by the jagged ends of her hair; they'd found a bunch of blonde hair in a bag in Harris's backpack and Jane had no doubts where it had come from. The blood had been washed off Maura's neck, but her cheek had darkened noticeably, and her lip had swelled. "Hey," Jane called softly as she proceeded to sit in the chair across from Maura.

"Hey," Maura responded, glancing up to meet Jane's eyes.

Jane sighed inwardly. It would have been easier to handle her if she were still emotional; Maura would get clingy, but Jane knew how to deal with clingy. This Maura, on the other hand, had walls all over her eyes. "Ready to go home?" Jane reached a hand out. Would she . . . ? Jane let out her breath with relief when Maura slowly placed a hand in hers. She grasped it firmly and stood up, pulling Maura upright.

"They treated me for mild dehydration but I haven't had anything to eat since—" Maura's voice cut off and she took a deep breath.

"I'll make sure you get some food," Jane reassured her as they made their way back into the waiting room, the officer trailing them. "Here, have a seat and watch for my car, okay?" Jane waited for the answering nod before turning to leave. She didn't bother to give any instructions to the cop guarding Maura; when it involved one of their own… Jane pulled her phone out once she reached the parking lot. "Hey Ma," she greeted. "Could you do me a favor?"

"What do you need, Janie?"

"Can you stop by my apartment and put together an overnight bag, maybe for two nights? And then make something for Maura? She didn't get anything to eat since"—she swallowed—"since before. So maybe something light?" Jane **could** cook, but she couldn't do that and be with Maura at the same time. _Ma would go nuts without something to do anyway; this has a chance of keeping her off our backs at least._

"I'll bring some soup over. How does that sound?"

"That sounds wonderful, Ma. Thank you!" Jane breathed a sigh of relief. _That solves a few problems._

"How is she?"

Jane sighed. "She's not talking much."

"You just have to be there for her, Janie. Think about what she'd say to you if you'd been in the opposite places. How would she want to take care of you?"

Jane thought for a moment. "I'll try that, Ma. Thanks." Her mother's advice was sounding scarily good, one sign that life was going a little crazy. She hung up the phone and got in the car, still thinking about the suggestion. How **would** Maura be trying to treat Jane? Well, Maura was always telling Jane that she needed to talk about things. _Like I need that,_ she argued with Maura in her head. And Maura had been **very** insistent on Jane's safety. _I'm pretty sure she was behind the bodyguard; the department doesn't have that kind of funds._ Jane sighed and started the car. She'd have to play it by ear.

She pulled up to the doors and opened the door for Maura, who immediately got in and buckled her seatbelt. Jane was about to pull away when her phone rang. She muttered a curse and answered it. "Rizzoli."

"Hey Jane, Maura with you?" It was Korsak.

"Yeah, why?"

"She up to giving her statement now?"

"She should get some food into her first. It can wait," Jane insisted.

"I can do it," Maura said.

Jane looked over at her. "They want you to give your statement; they can wait a day on that," she told Maura.

"I'll give my statement now."

Jane sighed again. "She says she'll come now, Korsak. See you in ten." She hung up the phone. "To the station first, then." She spared a minute to text her mother the change of plans before pulling away from the hospital.

* * *

Jane watched Maura through the observation window. The blonde had calmly agreed to give her statement, walking into the room without a backwards glance. Jane had hung back; she was too close to the situation to take the statement, and Maura hadn't asked her to stay. _Other than the bruising, you wouldn't know to look at her that she had just been held captive only an hour or two before._ Maura was answering questions without any sign of emotion. Jane tilted her head at that.

"You wish you were in there?"

Jane jumped a little at Korsak's voice, low by her ear. "Don't like having to wait outside when it's one of us." Maura might not be a cop but she was **family**.

"I know what you mean." He handed Jane a cup of coffee. "I figure you're not going to sleep quite yet."

Jane rolled her eyes, but accepted the coffee anyway. "Not till Maura's home safe."

"You staying with her?" he asked.

She nodded. "Tonight, at least. I just need"—her voice cracked a little—"I need to know she's okay." Korsak gave her a brief nod of understanding before walking on.

It was only a few more minutes before Maura finished. Jane winced a bit as she took stock of Maura's clothing—the shirt was still spattered with blood. "Let's get you home now, okay?" She reached out for Maura's hand, but it remained stiff and didn't curl around hers, so she dropped it and started walking; Maura followed.

Jane glanced over at Maura as they buckled their seatbelts. "How are you doing?" she asked Maura.

"I'm fine."

Jane snorted mentally. _I'll believe that when pigs fly._ It was going to be a long evening.

* * *

Upon opening the door, Jane was greeted with the sight of her mother putting the final touches on the soup she was making. The house smelled amazing. Jane walked over and gave Angela a hug. "Thanks, Ma."

"You're welcome, Janie." She stirred the pot a bit more before turning it off, then whispered, "How is she?"

Jane eyed Maura, who had silently made a beeline for her desk, picking up a pile of medical journals and starting to read. "Trying to pretend everything's normal," Jane mumbled.

"Sounds like you're rubbing off on her," Angela commented in a whisper.

Jane's whisper back was loud enough to be heard across the room. "Am not!"

Angela smiled. "Wouldn't you be doing the same thing?"

"No! Well, maybe," she amended.

Angela chuckled. "You'll figure it out. Anyway, soup is done. Love you." She kissed Jane's cheek before walking over to Maura, who jumped at Angela's sudden appearance in front of her. "I'm glad you're safe, Maura," Angela said, pulling Maura in for a quick hug and kiss. "I'll see you tomorrow," she called over her shoulder as she headed out the door.

Jane kept an eye on Maura as she got out a couple bowls and ladled some soup into them. She plunked some spoons in the soup, pausing for a moment. Almost as an afterthought, she pulled out a container to dump the soup into. It was a bit hot to put in the fridge, but better now than never. She didn't want to have to worry about putting leftovers away in case…

Jane put the bowls on the edge of the kitchen island counter. "Come and eat some soup, Maura." Maura didn't respond. _My mom scared her half to death just by walking up to her,_ Jane noted; she stayed at the counter. "Maura," she called, a little louder.

Maura's head popped up, her eyes questioning.

"Soup's ready. Come and eat."

The medical journals, thankfully, remained at the desk. Jane didn't really want to fight Maura on anything right then.

Jane didn't notice the flavor of the soup as she mindlessly shoved each spoonful into her mouth. Her mind was too busy running through scenarios, recalling memories, and observing Maura, who consumed small mouthfuls of soup sporadically while staring at the countertop. Jane had finished her bowl a few moments before when Maura finally put her spoon down and gave the half-full bowl a small shove away from her.

"Can't eat any more?" Jane asked.

Maura shook her head. Her hands began to tremble slightly; she slipped them into her lap.

"Hey. Come sit down with me?" Jane asked in a soft voice, grabbing Maura's hand with hers and tugging. It shook in her grasp, rigid and a little cool to the touch. Jane started to rub her hand, working up to her wrist and a little of her arm before the hand unfurled enough for a proper clasp.

Maura slowly followed Jane over to the couch, where Jane could lay against a corner and turn sideways to watch Maura, still massaging her hand. The blonde woman sat a little stiffly at first, but began an almost imperceptible shaking. _If I go with my gut . . ._ Jane slipped one arm around Maura's shoulders, rubbing them. Maura closed her eyes tightly, but tears started to leak out. "It's okay, Maura, let it out." Jane wrapped the other arm around Maura. "It's okay, it's okay," she murmured, as Maura tucked her head into Jane's neck and tears soaked into Jane's shirt.

Jane's fingers played with Maura's hair, the ragged ends begging to be straightened out. "You're going to need an emergency hair appointment."

The only answer was a choked sound from under the curtain of golden hair that was Maura pressing her face into Jane's collarbone. The sniffling had settled down into soft breaths, but Jane kept running her fingers through Maura's hair and down her back.

Maura's head didn't move, but she finally found her voice. "I knew you'd find me. But then he was going to move me. And I had to do something." Her voice trailed off into a sob.

"You did. You did great. You got away from him and you protected yourself."

"I was so scared," came the whisper from Maura.

Jane swallowed. Dare she? _Here goes._ "Me too. The whole time you were gone, I couldn't hardly sleep." She wasn't about to mention Susie and the toe tag.

Maura sat up a little, hair curtaining her face. "I still don't understand. What did he want? He didn't even know you."

Jane reached a hand out to tuck some of Maura's hair behind her ears. "What do you mean?"

"I asked him why he kidnapped you and not one of your sisters. He didn't correct me."

A warm feeling spread across Jane. _Oh Maura, smart even when you're terrified._ "You are amazing, you know that?"

Maura gave Jane a trembly smile.

"I don't know about you, but I didn't sleep well for the last several days. I'm ready to crash." Jane stood up and yawned, then reached a hand down for Maura, who took it and followed Jane.

* * *

Jane paused in the middle of the bedtime routine to send a quick text: _Hey Ma, going to sleep at Maura's. We're both wiped out. Don't wake us up in the morning, please?_ She hit Send and crossed her fingers.

When Maura emerged from the bathroom, Jane had her hand resting on the bedside lamp. "Night light on or off?"

Maura bit her lip. "On."

Jane nodded and flicked it on, turning off the overhead light. The lamp bathed the room in a gentle light, soft enough that Jane didn't think she'd have any trouble getting to sleep. When she found herself holding a shaking Maura, startled awake by the loud scream, she remembered: it wasn't the getting to sleep that was the problem—it was the waking up. "You're okay," she reassured Maura. "You're okay." She hoped she was right.


End file.
